It's Akilah, Obviously!

1. Dead or Asleep? This one is lots of fun early in the morning and is better with friends. Find a person who appears comatose and decide whether or not that person is deceased or just sleepy. Let’s be real though, no one wins if the person is deceased. 

2. Find the Duracell Battery - You can exchange Duracell Battery for “rat” if you want an easier game, or “cell phone” if you want a more challenging one.  While waiting on the train platform, choose the tracks on which your train will be arriving and look for a Duracell Battery. There may be more than one, but there is always at least one. The first one to find it, wins! (Or play alone, for personal gratification).

3. How Much Longer? - Self-explanatory (Bonus if you’re waiting on the G Train). Try to predict how many more precious moments of your life will be wasted because of “Train Traffic” or “Lost Signals.”

4. Will That Kid Catch the Hat during “Showtime!!!” - If you’ve ever ridden an MTA train, chances are good that 3-to-5 kids with a boom box have shouted “It’s showtime!” and started dancing and doing tricks. The best, most challenging trick involves having a hat on the shoe and kicking it behind the back and onto the head. I have yet to see a kid complete this trick, but I feel like they wouldn’t attempt it if it was completely impossible. Wagers start at 50 cents, but you can’t exchange money until they get off the train or else they’ll think you’re donating to their cause.

I think I’m going to be appending this list every so often to keep it interesting. 

xoxo,

This started off as a fashion blog, but then I realized my fashion taste could be described as “a few years ago at a midwestern forever 21.”

After all this time, you’d think that I’d have given up my rigid devotion to a faulty, unreliable, washing machine, but I really just can’t quit you. I have dumped countless gallons of cleaning liquids into your open mouth praying that just this once you’ll not be “out of order” or that you’ll not “leak unnecessarily all over the laundromat.” 

*Exhibit A: You publicly embarrassing me and making me question my commitment to our relationship.

I guess we should start with where my obsession began: It was an extremely hot June weekday evening and I had been in NYC long enough to foresee my underwear dwindling like the countdown on New Year’s Eve. It was probably the only thing that would simultaneously make Dick Clark excited and me uneasy. While I had become vaguely familiar with the laundromat around the corner from my walk-up, I had also become acutely aware that The City that Never Sleeps does, however, take short naps. That laundromat closed a full hour prior to my return from work, and so I opted to let Google Maps guide me to the nearest 24-hour deal.

I entered, with nothing but high hopes and my scary homeless rolling cart overflowing with the majority of my wardrobe. All of the machines were taken except for you, lucky 31. I call you lucky because 31 is the day of my birth, and, well really that’s it.

What started out as minor inconvenience (RE: me kicking you in the face so that my deposit would be honored via your cooperation), came to a head when you decided to eat my supplies without giving my clothing so much as a single rotation in your whirlpool. I was placed on the list of people who would be credited a free load in any number of more reliable machines.

How do I quit you? We see each other bi-weekly and try as I might, I cannot resist the urge to play Russian Roulette with you, knowing that I will undoubtedly be the loser since, again, you’re a pile of metallic disappointment that cannot feel pain.  

Please return the love and adoration I feel so desperately for you, and also, point me in the direction of a dryer that can wring out my clothes in less than an hour.

Yours,

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