April 23rd, 2014

WHY THE F*CK IS YOUR CHANNEL CALLED SMOOTHIEFREAK?

+ a smoothie recipe.

April 22nd, 2014

A Metaphor for a City like New York

I’ve been trying since yesterday evening to tell this story without being offensive or condescending about the elderly, the demented, or the homeless. I don’t know if I ever figured it out, so I’d like to apologize in advance…

Yesterday I boarded the G train and there was a pale elderly man seated next to a tomato. Not tomato sauce in a can. Not a small package of grape tomatoes, just a big. red. tomato.

He quickly spotted me (my fro has that effect) and started screaming at me in Italian I couldn’t comprehend. He snapped his fingers to get my attention a few times, but I just browsed photos I’d already seen on my phone, shuffled a few songs on my “chill times bro” playlist, and fiddled with my never-ending hangnails. While I thought the tomato was strange, what came next was even stranger:

He picked up the tomato, and he put it into his pants. Not the pants he was wearing, mind you, but one of the two pairs of pants he was holding in his lap. He didn’t put it in a pocket of the pants. He put it into the pants entire. 

I don’t know what any of that meant, truly. I’d like to think it was a metaphor for a city like New York, but maybe it wasn’t. Maybe it was just a bizarre interaction on the subway.

xo - Akilah

April 10th, 2014

CitizenM NYC Blogger Launch Party!

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#CitizenMNYC is such a blur now. Oh man, so much free food, so many free drinks, so much dancing, and laughing, and losing my voice and not sleeping. It was crazy. Like total chaos! I loved Alex Winston as the musical guest (hella talented), I loved Mike Perry’s drawings. I loved The Bumbys. I loved it all. If you’re coming to stay in NYC, check out CitizenM. It’s such a great place to stay.

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My darling Ken, who is my husband unofficially. 

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Doing that thing where I’m 100 years old secretly and obsessing over light fixtures.

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Feel free to swoon over the cake pop selection, because I totally did.

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Mike Perry and his googly eyes, man. So much to say (below, obviously).

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The fashioniest fashion bloggers were there. I was praying for an impromptu makeover session, but no such luck. I did get to stand near Christina Caradona’s fro, but I don’t feel like I absorbed any of its powers.

imageJust being a curly monster in my bed alone. So soft. Must. Invest. In. New. Mattress.

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February 20th, 2014

ilovecharts:

The ‘Polar Vortex’ Is Coming Back!

Also known as a cautionary tale for those who wear winter coats that are colors other than black (…like perhaps a big ass blood orange coat), and did not get them dry cleaned last year so it’s all dirty around the edges but it’s never not too cold to be wearing it so you can’t ever drop it off so you have to constantly notice how gross the sleeve openings and pockets look. 

I. Cannot. Deal. With. This. Weather. Anymore.

Reblogged from I Love Charts
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@kiwirabbitfru

meAkilah. Big Personality. Even Bigger Hair. NYC by way of Cincinnati. Girl About Town. Hot Mess. Blogger. Youtuber. UCB Comedy Person. Writer for HelloGiggles.

My mom thinks I'm funny. This is where my ink spills. ♡

Artwork by Samantha Hahn

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