So this is totally late notice, but there’s this crazy amazing app called ‘StyleScavenger’ that is so fun and amazing. Basically, there are all different kinds of challenges you can enter by submitting photos and if you win, you ACTUALLY WIN. They pick regular people to win gift cards, swag, etc.,!
Grab your friends, go to the app store, and download the app! Find my challenge and totally enter! You could win some pretty sweet stuff!
Last night I had the pleasure of attending the Yeezus tour with my boyfriend at the Barclays Center in downtown Brooklyn. I’m a medium-to-hardcore fan of Kanye, but can admit I don’t know the words to all of the songs on the newest album. Anyway, I don’t know why I expected the crowd to be any different than the L-train platform on Bedford ave in Williamsburg, but suffice it to say that the consumption of hip hop has never been more… ahem…mainstream.
Case in point, I encountered a plethora of white girls at the show, and I’d like to tell you about the ones you will no doubt encounter at any stop on the Yeezus tour:
1. The Chain-Smoking Miscreant
Quote: “SANG KANYE!”
In high school, this girl had a tongue ring and tattoos and you wondered what kind of parent or guardian would sign off on something like that. In the days of removable nokia phone faceplates, she had 10 including at least one with Betty Boop on it, and she painted some with nail polish in her own strange pre-etsy DIY phase. This girl—while smoking inside an arena and shamelessly giving everyone cancer—also stays close to on beat and proudly knows all the words (even the more obscure songs stuff).
2. The Interracial Relationship Validator
Quote: “Jay-Z would be cool, but I hope Kim and North are coming out!”
I’m not hating on blonde girls with black boyfriends. Why should I? I myself am happily in an interracial relationship. Love who you love, shoot for the stars, live your dreams, etc., I do, however, acknowledge that awkward moment when Kanye performs Blood on the Leaves and she doesn’t realize/care that it’s about the systematic lynching of black men in the south who were accused of glancing at women like her. Maybe I projected the visible cringing her beau exhibited every time she forgot to censor the N-word in her sing-along version of New Slaves, but it would be warranted nonetheless. Keep singing, Jessica. If your relationship can survive his cognitive dissonance or the conversation it is Bound 2 create, it can survive anything.
3. The Cultural-Experience Craving Hipster
Quote: “I really REALLY studied Yeezus as a full piece of art.”
The flannel shirt, cardigan, skinny jeans and oversized beanie/glasses* gives her away. She nods at half-intensity the entire concert and wishes it was just a tad quieter so she can present her dissertation on what Kanye must really mean when he says, “F*ck you and your Hamptons House, I’ll f*ck your Hamptons spouse.” —You recognize this by her starting to explain “codes of sexism” to her disinterested friends in between songs. She also fondly recalls that summer she worked at Wet Seal and “OMG, “Stronger” was EVERYWHERE that summer, and the Daft Punk influence solidified Kanye as a crossover artist.” There’s no doubt that she will be telling everyone about how she saw Kanye for the next 17 years, so now’s the time to remove her from your Facebook newsfeed.
4. The Sex-Tape Ambitionist
Quote: “He’s engaged to Kim, but he’s not THAT engaged to Kim.”
They have nosebleed seats like everyone else that didn’t get upgraded, but they will discuss in particularly loud and slurred voices how hot they look and how if Kanye sees their stilettos, they will definitely meet him backstage. Their stick straight platinum blonde extensions and raccoon smudged eyeliner is a telltale sign that they are only here because Kanye smells like a fat ass check. If only he didn’t look so happy earlier today in his brand new music video, perhaps one of them could become baby North’s new mommy. This duo will cause you to briefly but seriously consider alcoholism as a viable way to restore minimal faith in society.
5. The Actual Fan
Quote: “I get why they initially canceled the tour, this LCD screen is EVERYTHING.”
This person has no super defining traits save for simply being a caucasian woman. You believe that she probably received College Dropout as a gift a few years back and her mind was totally opened after listening to the tracks(including the unreleased singles). She gets that Kanye has important things to say, but she doesn’t proudly boast about her Intro to Race 101 knowledge about it, and certainly doesn’t try to pass as Kunta Kinte. She just enjoys the show. She feels the vibe of the music, she has favorite songs and favorite lyrics and she leaves feeling like she got more than her money’s worth. You Go, Actual Fan!
She paid for these tickets. Like, she went online, found tickets, and bought them. She probably had to log into her Paypal account to do so. Why on Earth, then, is she ruining the show for everyone else? I do not doubt that there are reasons to dislike Kanye West, just like there are reasons to dislike any human walking on the planet. At the same time, it makes zero sense to pay to see people you dislike. Perhaps she found an extra roll of money paper that she didn’t need to wipe her ass with this month so rather than stay at home photographing her cat on her artisanal couch, she thought she’d spare a pence and see something oh-so below her. Yes, we get it, you’d rather listen to songs about high school bleachers and how hard it is to date someone in a boy band— I just wish I had the money to help you realize that dream, preferably the hell away from everyone here trying to have a good time….
*Why are oversized glasses still a thing? They’ve been a thing long enough to stop counting as ironic and to just counting as bad taste.
Sometimes I make friends with some of the coolest people in the world. I think this may actually be one of my greatest talents and it’s something I get asked about a whole helluva lot. One of my favorite cool ass friends is Jazmine Hughes (no relation, but God I wish there was), a writer for New York Magazine and pretty much every other dope online publication. Every now and again Jazmine gets to review restaurants in the city and this night she invited me along to try SAUL.
I can admit that I am in the 99th percentile for terrible Brooklynites, as I’ve not yet gone to the Brooklyn Museum and also had no idea it was so close to Barclay’s and the Target at which I regularly shop. The whole place is super swanky and modern and I am committing here and now to visit that museum at least once by the end of the year.
Look at that happy lady! She tried the Duo of Creekstone Beef (and a cocktail that I also tried). She ordered it medium, which I am too much of a wuss to do yet (gimme a burnt ass piece of red meat if I’m having it). She’s the cutest and we both agreed that it was incredibly tasty.
I got the Crystal Valley Chicken which was (in the words of my mom) slap-yo-mama good. I didn’t know chicken could be quite that moist. Like, I’ve had some dank poultry in my time, but this was just killer. I’m not big into olives so I skipped that section.
If you’re looking for a good date-night location and are willing to drop a bit of cash (nothing too crazy) for your boo, I think heading to the museum and then to Saul’s afterwards is a good plan. Don’t let all of the shiny glass and fancy wait-staff intimidate you, this place is warm and you totally belong.
Akilah! I love your Youtube videos and your face and hair is always BEAT. I have to ask, as a young trans moving who's moving to Manhattan later this year, how was your move there? Also, how the hell do you perfect your cateyes??
Well aren’t you just a sweetie pie. I used to think BEAT was an insult, so I feel good knowing you don’t mean it in that way.
I moved to NYC, but I’m in Brooklyn (cannot foresee a future in Manhattan), but it was really serendipitous and unrealistic and perfect. I crashed on a friends couch for like 3 days, then another friend’s couch for 2 days, found a job and apartment immediately, within my payrate and budget—respectably, and started taking improv classes within 5 months. It was really just about being flexible and rolling with the punches. The hardest thing I think is learning how to get around in the city (which was daunting for me because I have severe anxiety about being lost), but once you have that, you’re golden!
And thank you! My cat eyes are progressing, and I’ve learned that they look the best when I’m in a hurry and don’t overthink the line. Just a quick swoop, then filling in, and you’re good to go!
Good luck on your move, and let me know if I can help in any other way!
There’s a pretty well-known chain (loosely-used term) here in NYC called, Milk. It’s a Momofuku (not, in fact, pronounced like a curse about someone’s mother) bar that in some locations serves dinner and at others serves strictly desserts. I went to the one in Williamsburg that is known for desserts, but sometimes dabbles in the saltier varieties as well.
I read on TheKitchn about their Thanksgiving croissant, and while I’m married to the “Holiday Earl” from Earl of Sandwich, I was desperate for stuffing and cranberry sauce and gave Milk the go-ahead.
The real star of the evening was the pumpkin pie cake truffles. They weren’t overly greasy or too sweet and they tasted almost-kinda-exactly like pumpkin pie. I told my boyfriend I would save some for him, but here we are, empty wrapper in tow. I’m sorry.
All in all, I’d recommend it. I more highly recommend finding an Earl of Sandwich (I hear there’s one in Hell’s Kitchen) and nomming on the Holiday Earl Sandwich. It’s killer.
Stop being lazy and just make Thanksgiving dinner. Yeesh.
Your interview about your hair reminded me about some facts about black people's hair: Its curly because the hair follicles are ovally. the more circular the follicle the straighter the hair. the more ovally the follicle the curlier it is. humans that have curly hair evolved that way because the curls protect the head against the sun's UV rays decreasing the individuals chances of skin cancer or even sunburn on the head/neck.
I didn’t know that! That’s actually super interesting. Thanks for the facts!!
At the beginning of September while munching on some meatballs in Chelsea with my boyfriend, America’s weatherman, Al Roker, surprised me with the opportunity to be on the Today Show and Million Second Quiz.Only after the initial shock of hugging someone with equal or transcendent notoriety to Mickey Mouse IRL, and screaming, “I get to touch Ryan Seacrest!!!!” I let the realization of impending TV show appearances sink in.
I’d always wanted to be on a game show—but not in the same way that that lady in Requiem for a Dream who like ODs on diet and crazy pills and thinks the fridge is gonna eat her did. I just found them fascinating. I like watching people win money. That’s one thing people will always appreciate winning.
The TODAY show was overwhelmingly fun. People were excited to see me. People took my picture when I was walking down the street and I had to jump into a black car out the back door as if anyone actually knew who I was. Like, some people live like that!
I got my makeup done professionally. I MET ROBERT DE NIRO. We talked for like 10 minutes! My mom likes to think it’s because of his…marital history…but I think he’s just a friendly old dude. He had a segment right before mine on the show, and he was a little bit nervous and told me that he doesn’t love doing interviews. He actually came across as a little shy which I found sweet. 10/10 would chat with him again.
The rest of my day was spent drinking an "anti-energy" drink and learning the run of show. I got a tablet with the day’s news around 5pm, but I had no access to a cell phone or anything which was nerve-wracking mostly because my entire life revolves around talking to people and emoting on the internet and sitting in silence for that long made me feel like I was losing my mind.
Maybe you watched me and my lack of strategy live. Maybe you wanna watch it here. Maybe I should make a t-shirt with felt letters that just says FELTING in all caps. Who knows. Few quick tidbits:
Ryan Seacrest is really friendly. He does not age. For someone with as many jobs as he has, I expected to see a wrinkle. I was two inches from his face, I saw no sign of a wrinkle anywhere. Witchcraft?
I have so much respect for people that work on TV shows. My God there’s a lot that goes into it. There’s a lot to deal with. There’s more than could be sufficiently described in a single blog post.
I have to work in TV. I have to. It’s such a dynamic, exhilarating, overwhelming, plain cool experience.
Until next time, I’ll see you on a slightly smaller screen.
“New York has swallowed me up like a carnivorous plant swallowing a fly, I have been living a breathless life for fifty days now, here life consists of a series of appointments made a week or a fortnight in advance: lunch, cocktail party, dinner, evening party, these make up the various stages of the day which allow you constantly to meet new people, to make arrangements for other lunches, other dinners, other parties and so on ad infinitum.”—Italo Calvino and other famous writers’ private impressions of New York City culled from their diaries and letters. (via explore-blog)
I love watching your hair videos even though my hair is a full on straight outta Africa Afro and doesn't really comply with braid outs, twist outs and wash and go. You are so funny and your hair is amazing :)
Thank you for the sweet words. I think every texture has a lot to give stylistically. My mom has a “straight outta Africa Afro” and I think it’s just the cutest darn fro ever. You’re too cute, don’t forget it!
A quick glance over my blog will tell you that I’m a fan of weird, quirky things. A few weekends ago I had the pleasure zany experience of attending Pogopalooza 10 in Union Square.
Let me start off by saying I have only been on a pogo stick once. At this event I bounced twice, started shaking, abandoned ship, and then declared that my pogoing career was over. So, clearly I know very little about the science and pop culture behind pogoing.
My boyfriend, however, knows a lot. He founded pogopalooza in Lincoln, NE when he was 14. Insane. I was watching a lot of The Real World: Las Vegas and eating Corn Pops back then, but apparently some people were actually starting really cool stuff.
I got to watch the trick competition, a world record high jump, and eat all the pop chips and apple sauce my little tum could handle. It was super fun, and if they do it in NYC again, I highly recommend you go. I mean, you heard it here first, Pogoing is actually pretty dope.